


and it's so hard to please them all

by writingismypoison



Series: a second glance-character studies [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Peer Pressure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:39:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingismypoison/pseuds/writingismypoison
Summary: Pidge wasn't always Pidge. She once was Katie, a young girl with a knack for painting and a family with bigger dreams than her canvas could hold.





	and it's so hard to please them all

**Author's Note:**

> and so it continues! pidge is my next victim. i love them so much.
> 
> note- i use she/her pronouns in this because she was Katie, not Pidge.

**Pidge** , a long time ago, had wanted to be an artist.

Every day during the summer, she would bring out the paint kit and canvas her grandma had gotten her for her 13th birthday and run outside. There she would paint whatever caught her attention. One day it would be a pair of birds, the next, a dead rabbit near the fence. Either one, it still made her happy.

But eventually, her parents had stepped in, telling her to be more like Matt. He had already said he wanted to be a scientist, and her parents applauded his choice.

They were eating dinner, the sound of forks clinking as a sort of background noise. The mood was comfortable, and everything was content for a bit. “Honey, becoming an artist is a really hard job. Not that many people get much out of it. I'm saying that it's a good pastime, but not an ideal job. You should do something more like Matt, or your father and I.” Her mother said, breaking the easy silence.

“Yeah! You could become a scientist like myself and Matt will, or a mathematician, a practical job like that! You could even do coding! I know you like art, so there’s a job that's kind of similar!” Her father had chimed in, optimism and all.

“Art is fun, but you could be doing something else with your talent. Katie, you should live up to your full potential! I just don't think art will do that for you. You know I'm just trying to help, right?” Her mom agreed, her voice soft, looking directly at her before going back to her food.

“I don't know. I like art a lot, and even though I like math, art is so much more peaceful.” Katie replied, moving her mashed potatoes around her plate. She got the implications behind their words.

_S_ _he wasn’t useful to them like this, so you need to change the things you do to make you benefit us more. Change your whole dream for us._

_Pidge wasn't living up to her full potential._

There was always something else she could be doing, using her skills to do something _useful_ for once, like her mother said, and put her brain for something that was important. How could she waste her family’s time doing something that wouldn't benefit them? That was the most selfish thing she could do. She had to do something that would help people.

So she got into coding. It was almost natural to her, in a way. Pidge originally preferred HTML to most, simply because it had visual implications, but soon learned to love many others. She read books about coding, watched videos, went on to online forums to ask any questions she found herself wondering. Submerging herself into this idea fully, so she wouldn't have to dwell on how useful she really was. Sometimes she would doubt herself, and want to give up, but then she would look at her old art kit, and the last painting she’d put up.

It was of a grove of trees surrounding a tent. The camper was relatively in the shade, except for the smallest tree, which left him open to the sun and it's heat.

If only the tree could grow and become useful.

Many a time she would be found working on perfecting her code to do useful things for her, like creating a robot to pick up laundry instead of buying the $200 dollar one her family was planning on getting. The look on their faces when she showed them it was almost worth the sacrifice.

But then she would eventually remember that it wasn't her dream to do this. She would see a beautiful sunset, or an amazing tree, or when she eventually went to space- the amazing nebulas and galaxies she saw, and wish, just a bit, that she hadn't given into her family’s words, and followed her dreams. Then she would stop her selfish thoughts, reminding herself that if she were instead an artist, she would have no use as a paladin.

She wasn't strong. She was a short, flimsy teenager fighting in a bloody war. Her only skill was her hacking ability, otherwise she didn't contribute. Dead weight is what she would have been.

So Pidge sucked it up, and became the person she had to be. A painter wasn't useful in a war.

Anytime she was thinking of giving up, she would look at the painting. She'd brought it with her to the Garrison, and then space. It had come to represent her selfishness, in a way, because it was her last connection to her previous dreams. It was a reminder that she needed to help her family, help find her dad and brother, help help help help in the only way she could-

She covered the painting most of the time.

 

Pidge was useful now.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> the views pidge has on the usefulness of art are not my own.
> 
> thanks for reading! 
> 
> hmu on [my tumblr](http://theblueteletubby.tumblr.com)


End file.
